Sometimes I feel like everything that I would strive to do better at would just come crumbling down as though nothing is really worth striving for.
For example, I really want to get good at drawing tribal images or graffiti. However, there’s no real way to get better other than to practice (to the power of infinity). The only way to practice is to copy other people’s work until I get an idea of how I want to draw something… and half way through I don’t feel like I completed anything because it was never my original idea in the beginning. And I can’t ever get good at graffiti due to the fact that its so restricted against, plus the fact that I can’t come up with any ideas or style on my own.
I just feel like I exist simply so that people can be better than me so that they will feel better. Even the things I used to be good at… I no longer am. Everything I do just feels…. inadequate.